Why Don't We?

The culture we live in has a tendency to prefer the negative over the positive.  Even if we aren't meaning to, and we don't intend to think that way, we lean towards seeing things in a negative light, towards seeing what is missing rather than looking at what is already there.  We focus on what we still haven't done, rather than taking more than a brief moment to appreciate what we have accomplished.

It makes for a stressful and tiring world at times.  As human being we long for praise and recognition, to be given attention and told that we did something good and right.  When we are continuously told that we did this wrong, or we need to go and fix that now, or we need to buckle down or else we'll never reach that goal that is somehow always one step ahead of us.... it drags us down, and discourages.  This isn't to say that we shouldn't get (constructive) criticism, or we should ignore instruction or be reminded of what we hope to attain but these only motivate us for so long.  After a while, what used to get us going makes us sit back and think "Well why on earth am I even doing this any how?"

Why don't we give the positive as much screen time as the negative?

When we are learning something, we are given instruction and coaching, told when we did something wrong or that next time there's a better way, and we are occasionally given praise for a job well done.  As we master the skill or lesson, however, commentary goes away and we are left with "If I'm not saying anything, it means you are doing a good job".  I am as guilty of this as anyone else, but I know from my own experience that instruction slowly stopping is far from being the same as being told "Hey, you're doing a good job with this and learning quickly!"

When I was learning to drive, I remember getting very frustrated a couple of months in.  When I first started, I was of course receiving a lot of instruction and correction.  Gradually it went away, but I didn't take this to mean I was getting the hang of it.  Instead, I got upset because I didn't know if I was doing it right yet.  I remember crying one time because I didn't know if I was getting any better at driving or not, and my mom being surprised because, since I was getting better, she didn't need to correct me any more.

A month after I started my job at the hotel, I sat down with my GM and AGM and reviewed my progress.  They did point out the areas where I was doing really well, and mentioned some specific examples of times where I did a good job, and it was great.  At the end, they pointed out some areas I needed to work on, and I made a conscious effort after that to fix and grow in those areas.  I wasn't sure if I was improving though, and I waited for someone to either say "Hey you need to keep working on this," or "It looks like you've got it!"  Neither came, and finally I went and asked my AGM if I'd gotten any better.  She told me that I was doing a great job now, which was good to know... but left me wondering if anyone would have ever mentioned it if I hadn't asked.

Humans are a bit like flowers in that we need the rain to grow, but if it rains too heavily and for too long we end up wilting and drowning in it.  We need the sunlight too in order to really blossom and be beautiful.  Positive encouragement means so much to us, and I know that personally I have often written down or printed out words of praise that I have been given so I can treasure them and go back when I need to hear them again.  Yesterday, I had my wine professor tell me I had a talent for tasting wine and I was actually better at picking scents and tastes out than he was.  I've been struggling a bit in that class to get (by my standards) a good grade, so hearing that from him brightened up the rest of my day and made me feel wonderful.

We all know how good positive comments and encouragement makes us, we all value and treasure and hold on to them.  So why then, do we automatically tend towards the negatively phrased critiques and instructions, why do we forget to give credit and praise when we see someone overcome a goal or master a skill.

Why don't we tell people when they are doing good?

Threads of Friday

1. It's Friday again already!  As you read this, I'm on my way down to St. Louis for a wedding... my cousin is getting married tomorrow, and it's going to be awesome.  She's marrying a great guy that fits perfectly into our crazy family, and I'm so happy for her.  It's going to be a beautiful day, followed by an epic night of dancing and partying.

2. Continuing the thread of partying, I have discovered that I (horror of horrors!) enjoy dancing to Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off."  What's worse, I listned to the preview of the songs from 1989 on Amazon and I LIKED THEM. Especially "Out of the Woods". Guys, I can't like Taylor Swift.  I mean, I used to like her, but then her music got 'eh' and her fans got ridiculously out of control and weirdly obsessive and were a major turn off.  The "swifties" more than anything where why I stopped listening to her.  But now I'm starting to like her again.  What is this madness?

3.  Continuing the thread of music, I listened to Carrie Underwood's Something in the Water.  I love it when country singer's release a song with a Christian theme to it.  It's never blatant in your face "HEY THIS IS A CHRISTIAN SONG", and I love that so many country artists have a faith that they aren't afraid to share with their fans.  It's a beautiful song, go listen to it.  I'm one of those crazy Catholics that actually likes Amazing Grace and gets super excited whenever I hear a new version/incorporated into a song, so I just love the ending of the song.

4. Continuing the thread of  jobs (because I was listening to that song at work), Day two of working two part time jobs and full time school is going well... so far.  I'm at job #2 writing this on Thursday, I've been here since 8 and get to leave at 2 to drive down to job #1 and work there from 3-11... so, we'll see how that goes.

5. Continuing the thread of jobs... Job #1 has an awesome tradition of doing a staff pumpkin carving contest.  Each department decorates a pumpkin - the only rule being that it has to light up - and then we let the guests vote for a week.  Based on guest conversation... I think the Front Desk is going to win with our "Haunted Hotel"

Yes, we put our managers' names on the tombstones...

6. Continuing the thread of traditions... Traditions really are the best.  And so are friends. And so is football.  So football traditions with one of my best friends totally rocks.  My friend attends the college that was the rival football team of my first school so of course every year we have to go to the epic battle for the rivalry trophy together.  I wear my school colors, she wears hers, we cheer on our own teams and rib the rival and it's awesome. Sadly, she won this year... but I guess that's okay.  My team is totally better and we won the last two years anyhow.

7. Continuing the thread of... traditions, and partying and Halloween... Happy Halloween!  I just came up with a costume last night, and I think I figured out a way to pop up wearing it every now and then throughout the day.  I'll snap a picture for you and put it in next Friday's post.


Happy Friday!

Ps. And going off of that thread, isn't this an amusing and intriguing graphic?

h/t Elenatintil, h/t huffingtonpost

Confessions of a GSA/Hospitality Student: An Inauguration

I'm in my second year as a double major in Hospitality Management and Meeting and Special Events at a junior college, and should be graduating next December.  Yay!  For six months now, I've been working as a Guest Service Agent, GSA at an awesome hotel and let me tell you, both things have been an adventure!

So consider this a trial run of an ongoing, sporadic series I'm thinking of starting up.  The hospitality industry is full of people and stories and adventures, and I'm thinking that I'll have a lot of things to share with you.  Not a single day is ever the same, and you can never predict what is going to happen - either in the workplace, or in my classroom!

Does this sound like something you, my dear readers, would be interested in?  If you have any questions, and curiosity about the world of hospitality feel free to ask me and I'll do my best to give you a blog post answering your questions.

While this is meant to be an inaugural post for my series, I feel like I should share at least something with you... so... my first confession.

Being a Hospitality major isn't a life long dream I've had, or even something I thought about doing prior to starting school.  After I had to leave my first college because of financial issues, I was pretty much done with school, and done with figuring out what I wanted to do with my life.  My parents let me flounder around for about a year and before they started pushing me to do something other than the little dead end part time job I had.

I resisted for a while, but the idea of going back to school grew on me and then it was two weeks before the start of the fall semester at my junior college when I found myself scurrying to apply and sign up for classes.

I needed to figure out what the heck I was going to be even studying, and none of the areas that I could think of off the top of my head were very appealing.  So I went to the junior college website and scrolled through their list of majors.  The one that struck my eye was the Hospitality Management and Meeting and Special Events Majors.  Hmm.... Meeting and Special Events sounded like it could be fun.  I checked out the required classes and liked what I saw, so I thought "Why not? Sounds more interesting than anything else I've checked out."  So I did. And I fell in love.

And that, dear readers, is how I became a Hospitality Student.

Finally Fall-day

1. It's fall out today!  There is sunshine that we haven't seen since Sunday, and the leaves are all starting to turn beautiful and brilliant colors.  This may call for a pumpkin spice latte on my way to work later today...

2. In other news, I just picked up a glass of water and dumped it into my lap because I didn't pay attention to wear my mouth was.

3.  My Knight came to visit for four days at the beginning of the week, and it was a short but wonderful visit.  We went to my siblings soccer and flag football games, attended a Byzantine Liturgy (I'm in love) and went out for brunch with my family, gave him a tour of my campus and introduced him to the relaxed, often off topic and fun learning style that is classes in the hospitality department, went to the pumpkin farm, fixed the faulty wiring on my car battery after it died and left us stranded in the rain, went to dinner at my favorite Irish pub and walked around my old college campus.  This weekend was the one year anniversary of my grandfather's death and it was very special to have my Knight with me for the mass and dinner with my family.  It was a beautiful time.

Without meaning to, we ended up picking out identical pumpkins

4. A Capella groups are pretty awesome.  I discovered the Home Free Vocal Band on YouTube, and their renditions of This is How We Roll and All About That Bass are pretty hilarious.  Then they joined up with Avi Kapalan from Pentatonix for a brilliant performance of Ring of Fire.  Check them out!

5. GuysintwoweeksI'mstartingupaninternshipwhichmeansI'llhavetwopart-timejobsandonefull-timeschoolandI'mkindafreakingoutalittle.

6. I finished my Katniss cowl!  It turned out lovely and I'm having so much fun wearing it.  Of course the first thing I did once it was finished was dress up and take a photoshoot...

7.  It's getting close to the time where we get to sign up for spring semester classes and I actually took the time to look at the course requirements and what I still need... and I only have six classes left!  Providing the classes line up properly in the fall, I'll be graduating with my associates in Meeting and Event Planning next December!  It would work out nicely to do three classes this Spring and three next Fall... but if I go full time two semesters in a row I get a discount on insurance, and so I'm contemplating the insanity of taking three 3-credit hour classes, one 2-credit hour class and a 1-credit vocal or guitar lesson to bring me up to full time, which makes a total of 5 classes plus two part time jobs.  We'll see.

Well, time for a full weekend of work!  Happy Friday!

Where Charity and... Foul Language Prevail?

I think anyone would agree that our world is a mess.  People seem like they keep getting crazier and doing more outrageous things, and we're all becoming more and more corrupt.  It's scary and it's frustrating, and I get that.  It's perfectly normal to be upset and even angry at the actions and choices of others that we don't agree with.  There is such a thing as righteous anger, and many times these days, righteous anger is what is called for.

But thanks to Facebook and social media, I've noticed something else on the rise along with the mess of the world, and it's that a lot of Catholics are getting just as nasty as everyone else out there.  Sadly, it's not hard to scroll through my newsfeed and see ranting statuses and comments from "Catholics" that are bashing the Pope, bashing the Bishops, bashing every form of the Mass and priests and bashing music and bashing everything - and more often than not, it's mixed with language that you'd expect from a sailor.

And lest you think I'm singling out one particular "side", oh no, it's the "Traditional Catholics" just as much as the "Liberal Catholics" - and sometimes, sadly, it's even more so.  Actually, I just decided as I was typing this that those are the people I'm going to call out.  It is sad and horrible at the manner in which many people who claim to love the Church and God conduct themselves.  Guys, there is some serious attitude adjustment that needs to be happening.  I'll take on the "liberal Catholics" some other day.

I love the Latin Mass and the traditions of the Church, I think they are beautiful and a special part. I also love many parts about praying in English and more modern hymns.  I think both have a place.  yes sometimes I'm a little uncomfortable with changes - either in the liturgy or in declarations from the Pope and the Bishops -  but I try to stop and ask myself if I'm uncomfortable because I don't like change or because something is amiss?  I subscribe to the school of though that acknowledges that things change, things can change and sometimes things should change.

God directs our paths and just because the interpretation of Vatican II got screwed up doesn't mean everything since then is from the devil and the Pope is some liberal nut who is taking us to hell in a handbasket.  For crying out loud, if you love and trust Pope Benedict so much more than Pope Francis then why don't you stop your swearing about the things he's doing for a moment and think about the fact that no body forced Pope Benedict to resign, he did it out of prayer and discernment.  Don't you think he knew what he was doing? Don't you think that God knew what he was doing?  Don't you think God directed Vatican II and the changes that where made?   How can you call yourself a Catholic and call the "Novus Order" a load of BS and talk about the F**** Bishops all in the same breath?  Really?  That's how good traditional Catholics act now?

And then there is the manner in which people talk about homosexuals and politicians and sinners and any other group or even people who they think should wear a little more clothing.  Whether or not these groups are doing anything wrong or sinning is irrelevant at the moment.  It doesn't matter what someone is doing, or how they are living their lives.  As a Catholic you are called to love and mercy.  I'm not saying to be afraid to call a sin a sin, but there are far better ways to do it than referring to a woman with skimpy clothing a whore or talking in a vile manner to any other group of people.  Who are you to point out the splinter in someones eye, often while spewing hate and profanity, when there's a giant log in your own?

I suppose I'm writing this because I have gotten fed up with the hypocrisy of people I know who call themselves Traditional Catholics and go around labeling everyone and professing to be better than the rest.  I've read one to many profanity laced conversations on Facebook to not say anything.  Who are you going to win over with actions and words like that?  What hearts will you open up to the love and the tenderness of the church when all your actions scream harshness and hatred?  Last time I checked, that song was "Where Charity and Love Prevail", not "Where Hatred and Swearing".

We are Catholics, we are called to a higher path and a higher behavior.  If you truly want to make the world Catholic then stop.  Just, stop.  Stop hating the Pope, stop criticizing every single move the Church makes. You are not God. You are not the Pope. You are not the Holy Spirit.  You have no position to look at the first article from Huffington Post you see and cry "See! I told you! Corruption and scandal!"  Yes the world is messed up, and yes there is sin, and yes the world needs to know that what they are doing is wrong, but living a perpetual witch hunt and looking for new ways to bash and shame people is not going to fix a thing.

Stop giving Catholics a bad name.  Stop giving people a reason to call the Church heartless and hateful.  Start being the followers of Christ that He is calling us to be.