December 16, 2009

If You Don't Want the Lord of the Rings to be Ruined Forever, Don't Read Past This Point.

When Tolkien created the Ringwraiths, I don't think he expected that one day there would be Ringwraith fangirls. But there are! I mean honestly, wraiths are so awesome!

I suppose that it is all my friend Lanta's fault... after all, she's the one who started it by falling in love with and marrying the Witch King of Angmar. Then again... I had created this awesome, adorable and sarcastic Ringwraith named Soyousay before then. So we get equal blame. ;)

Well our love of Ringwraiths has reached new proportions. I am quite positive that Tolkien turned over in his grave last night during a certain conversation I had with Lanta. We had gotten the idea to name all the wraiths before, but last night we actually did it.

Now, we decided that the wraiths have two names, their evily cool elvish-y names and their code names. How are these code names determined? By their most common phrase that they say! (Like Soyousay quite regularly responds with "So YOU say!")

Oh, you also need to know that The Witch King is actually two people, Cor (Lanta's husband) and Cor's evil twin brother. So there are actually ten Ringwraiths because Sauron told them to share the ring. (That's a really long story. I'll tell it some other time.)

Anyhow, so between Lanta and myself, and myself and my sisters, all ten Nazgul now have code names! They are pretty indicative of their personalities. It's hilarious

Shutup = Cor's evil brother
Whatnow = Cor
Soyousay = my wraith and BF
Sowhat = Soyousay's younger brother
Yeahright = Sowhat and Soyousay's uncle
Whatever = random wraith at this point
Whocares = ditto
Ofcoursenot = ditto
Offine = ditto
Tim = the spoiled ten yr. old brat

Yes, you read that right, Tim (actually, he would say "It's 'im!" but everyone always thought he was saying "Tim".)

Anyhow, after Sauron gave out the first 8 rings, he was looking around for the last king to give the ring to. He went all over the place, but no one would take it! No one! Finally Sauron stumbled across this little kingdom, ruled by this bratty ten year old king. Why Sauron didn't give the ring to the regent, I have no idea, but he was fed up with searching and gave it to Tim, who took it gladly.

Note: The reason you don't see any short Ringwraith's in the movies is because the rest all forced Tim to wear these stilts, since a short wraith is hardly terrifying.

And there you have it. I intend to write a story about how they all became wraiths at some point. It shall be quite fun! The Tolkien purists will all kill me.

But who cares?


  1. HEHEHE! Aunty Rose, thou art a pure genius. ;D We HAVE to bring those guys into an adventure!

  2. ROSE!!! I can't stop laughing!!! That is too funny!!!!! Lanta and you are so funny! I would never be able to come up with something as creative as this. You are positively a genius! I would love just to listen in to one of your talks with Lanta. :P

  3. Kill you for writing the book! I'm gonna kill you for writing the post! How dare you think of ruining Tolkiens world!

    ~The Scarlet Pimpernel (Also the writer of a SANE lotr continuing story!)

  4. Now you've done it.
    I'll never view Ringwraiths the same way.

  5. Do they all pick on Tim?

  6. HAHAHAHA!!!! Oh this is great!!!! Yes, I think you're right, Tolkien is rolling in his grave. :-)

  7. Hahahahaha! Oh I love it! Tolkien is either turning over in his grave or laughing hysterically...perhaps both. ;) Shutup and Whatnow - that is SO funny! Quite indicative of their personalities...

  8. Wow, ruining LOTR was totally worth it, between the two posts I got 12 COMMENTS!!!! *dies of happiness*

    @ Blanche - I know, aren't they?

    @ Hannah - Oh yes, I have an adventure ALL planned out for them! =) It'll be really good.


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