Because you know, the more you laugh the longer you'll live!
(Though how anyone ever proved that...)
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Sometimes newspaper headlines just go a little screwy:
Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
House passes gas tax onto senate
Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
Milk drinkers are turning to powder
Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
Farmer bill dies in house
Iraqi head seeks arms
Eye drops off shelf
Squad helps dog bite victim
Dealers will hear car talk at noon
Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
Miners refuse to work after death
Two Soviet ships collide - one dies
Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter
Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while
War dims hope for peace
Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
Cold wave linked to temperatures
Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
Man is fatally slain
Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation.
Man murdered, police suspect foul play.
Include Your Children when baking cookies
Clinton wins on budget, but more lies ahead
Plane too close to ground, crash probe told
Juvenile court to try shooting defendant
Stolen painting found by tree
Red tape holds up new bridges
Kids make nutritious snacks
Hospitals are sued by 7 foot doctors
New Vaccine may contain rabies
Man struck by lightening faces battery charge
that is hysterical!
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